Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Shiro's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 28th, 2003
5:44 am	Rules of the Bubble Hi Kids! The lesson for today was 'do not repeat mistakes that your friends have already made'. That horror dawned on me today and made me feel pretty worried. But anyways... I've been watching Fruit Basket lately, as well as WeiB Kruetz (too lazy to get the german font out). The latter I didn't get to watch very well, as a good number of people who showed up at that 'movie night' were not watching the movie, so I could not hear very well (even though it was subtitled, it still matters to me) and I kept getting distracted. Fruit Basket is hillarious so far - I'm only up to episode 6. Had a great D&D session this Wednesday - I'm sorry that I couldn't avoid having a player missing, but I'm not sure if they would have enjoyed the all out slug fest with 30 gnolls that was one of the main events. I liked it - it was so... light hearted. Night to you all - and remember, stay frosty and avoid being wyld and fried ;-). Song of the Moment - EVA - Cruel Angel's Thesis Trip (Comment on this)
Monday, February 24th, 2003
3:59 am	Back from the Con So Friday I get out of class and head off to Con DFW. I end up working the art show and in the process buying a few pieces. The weekend was a scheduling nightmare for me - I was continously being shown that hearing everything at once and picking nothing up can create chaos. I missed the fact that one of my players didn't know that the D&D session was re-scheduled, another was dead tired because it was rescheduled, and all in all it wasn't the best of sessions. Then I get yelled at because I went to play DDR and just plum forgot about having talked to someone about taking them with us when we went. Then I find out that I pretty much abandoned another group because they were not going with us - they thought we were going to follow them. I ended up not having time to play Nathan a game of Guilty Gear X2, and got kind of sick feeling towards the end of that insane day. Other than all that (and this isn't sarcasm) I had a great time there. For one thing, I found out that I have DDR notoriety now - somebody at the arcade in the mall in Dallas recognized me. All in all, I found myself somewhat upset when I woke up in Kelly's car and saw the lights of New Main passing by the windows. Of course, then I went off and watched all of Dual again (7 hours). Good weekend - now for another week. Trip (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
1:50 am	Wyld and Fried Bouncy mood! Don't know why - especially since I sat down with the original intent of posting greivances (such as Fletch not knowing how to wipe the seat or flush) and things that pissed me off, but I just got to talking to my friend Mike about my D&D char design, and my world just opened back up. Anyways, if you recognize the meaning of the journal entry heading, kudos to you this week. I hope all of you with S.O.'s have a great Valentine's Day. Trip Song of the moment - George Thorogood - Bad to the Bone (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 9th, 2003
2:31 am	Sooo tired... Stupid brain won't leave me alone - thing gets me in way too much trouble for what it's worth. Maybe I should just get rid of it.... yessss.... Trip (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 8th, 2003
5:58 am	Weekly update Just finished reading all of MegaTokyo. Hilarious stuff, but now I want to go to Japan... On another note, night times have become worse - I think I'm slowly becoming nocturnal again. Having trouble falling asleep and conversely, wanting to get up. On yet another note, after an attack from behind with a rabid brush my hair has found itself in a high ponytail yet again, making me look like a psychotic western samuraii or something. I like it! Hehe. Toripu-san ^_^ (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 4th, 2003
3:14 am	Nights I think I'm becoming nocturnal again... this isn't a good thing. At least with my selection of classes it dosn't hurt too much this time around. Well, night everyone. Trip (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
11:03 pm	And Late Sunday... I normally don't take those tests - but I'm bored and poetry types sounded interesting. Anyways, I've been sleeping way too late. At least I'm ABLE to sleep now, but late to bed and late to rise isn't what I want. Spent all of today playing Pokemon - I almost have a complete 'dex of 251 pokemon, all on file. The game has over 104 hours logged onto it. But now it's 11 o'clock, so I should be creative enough to write my speech in full. Oh yeah - and program in C. *shrugs* It's how I live my life. Hope you all had a great weekend, at least a little more eventful than mine. Trip (Comment on this)
11:02 pm	And late Sunday.... I normally don't take those tests - but I'm bored and poetry types sounded interesting. Anyways, I've been sleeping way too late. At least I'm ABLE to sleep now, but late to bed and late to rise isn't what I want. Spent all of today playing Pokemon - I almost have a complete 'dex of 251 pokemon, all on file. The game has over 104 hours logged onto it. But now it's 11 o'clock, so I should be creative enough to write my speech in full. Oh yeah - and program in C. *shrugs* It's how I live my life. Hope you all had a great weekend, at least a little more eventful than mine. Trip (Comment on this)
10:54 pm	The ballad, I; I shun the world,    Its bustle and its noise, Its busy hasty rushing crowds    And bright consumer toys. Indeed, I sometimes like the old    Because it's not the new; And if you think that's strange or wrong,    I might not much like you. What Poetry Form Are You? (Comment on this)
Friday, January 31st, 2003
1:03 am	Story Time! I'm in a bouncy mood. I think I'll tell a story. This story is how I came about my handle. It's a little long, but then again, most of my stories are. First off, I have several handles. The ones I actually go by are Blacklocust, ShiroKenshi, and WhiteBlight. You all probably know the second. The first was just two random words - I thought it was cool. That became my email. The third, WhiteBlight (following the color/noun thing) is a name I only go by if I'm playing online with a few of my friends. Most of my friends back home are Asian, and went through the requisite 'Asian Gangsta' phase. Their handles at the time were stuff like 'AznPuffDaddy' or 'AznInvasion'. So to counter my friend's 'AznInvasion', I decreed myself the 'WhiteBlight'. Thought it was hilarious, but would never use it outside of that little circle because it's an inside joke. The one you all know is the important story, because this handle means something to me. I grew up on detective books and fantasy books, hearing stories of the great protectors, standing for justice, peace, love - whatever you care to name. ShiroKenshi is Japaneese, and translates (quite horribly) to 'The White Knight'. That's always the person I wanted to be. I want to be the shining force of pure belief and strength of character who stands up against anything that would cross him or his friends. I ran into a problem though. I realized at one point in my life that I had problems. Everyone has problems - after all, I am human, I don't fool myself into thinking I'll ever be that perfect guardian. The problem was that I wasn't solving these conflicts; I wasn't facing them. Rather, I found myself revelling in my misery - not actually deriving pleasure from it, more like a child tonguing an ulcer or picking at a scab. People have said before that I'd make a horrible Goth, and you're right. I had to give up that folly in order to grow up and become a better person. I had to realize that my life was miserable and confusing because I wouldn't face it, because somewhere deep down in the depth of my being I loved being miserable. So I realized it, and I got over it. It wasn't easy, and I cannot thank enough the friends that stood by me then - the friends that were my guardians. I wrote a song about it actually (look a few entries back) titled 'All there is' - very few people have heard it, but ask if you want to, because I like it. So anyways, I got over that problem, and I'd say that is the point in my life where I grew up. All of that is important because nobody can help someone solve a problem if they can't solve it themselves. As such (and seemingly unconnected) in middle school I discovered my purpose in life. I'm here to make people smile. To do that, I have to be at peace with myself and know who I am. That way I can be someone's guardian - I can be their white knight. But I can't help anyone who dosn't want the help, or dosn't see the problem. And sometimes, that hurts. But you know, how many knights came back from battle without wounds? I find this all funny, considering how many guardians we have in Cepheid. Anyways, that's why my handle is what it is. It's who I strive to be. Trip *phew* - that was long (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
11:12 am	Didn't get the job... F'in hiring freeze... darn the new university president... At least the guy said he'd talk to his boss about still hiring us. Said he'd call me back. *sigh* This WILL pull through Trip (Comment on this)
11:10 am	Didn't get the job... F'in hiring freeze... darn the new university president... At least the guy said he'd try to talk his boss into letting him hire us - said he'd call back if he could. *sigh* This WILL pull through... Trip (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:08 am	Ah, and true to my style, I pull up a good song and *bounce* - am better again. Sometimes you just have to treat the symptoms and let the ailment run it's course. In that line, I have plenty of medicine *pulls up the Flogging Molly playlist*. Trip (Comment on this)
12:49 am	Insomnia's back... twisting pain in stomach back... headache back... *sigh* Trip Song of the Moment - All There Is (Comment on this)
Friday, January 24th, 2003
10:45 am	YAY! Very well may have gotten a job today! Interview went great, the guy said he saw no problem in hiring me, and to call him on Tuesday if I havn't gotten a call back. Only thing that could stop me is that annoying budget problem - but the guy dosn't think it will affect him. So... YAY! Trip Current Song - Heart of Sword (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
1:31 pm	WHOOP! Ah - so I wake up this morning not feeling so well, and miss my C class. Then I wake up and go talk to CIS to see about fixing my application. While I'm there, I get a very positive feeling about another job option - computer repair! I LOVE COMPUTER REPAIR! Wahoo! Then I call my mom to tell her the good news (she is a pessimist about me getting a job, so I have to make sure to rub good news in her face) Of course, the call was a mistake, because my mom immediately predicts my imminent failure because I'm 'not focused' this semester - as evidenced by the fact that I left my whites in the drier at home. *rolls eyes* Love 'ya mom. Then I get back and manage to fix a problem I've been having FOREVER - I manage to rip an anime intro that I CAN"T find as an mp3 (Outlaw Star). Then I find intros to all of my other favorite anime - ALL EXTENDED VERSIONS! Whoop! Currently I'm dancing around my dorm room to words that I can't really even understand yet. AH - life is good. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 16th, 2003
2:38 am	A Story 6 and a half years ago, I entered high school. My band instructor was Mr. Weeks. I did not like Mr. Weeks - simple as that. That man managed to berate me day after day when I really loved music. At one football game he and the head band director managed to bring me to tears. 3 and a half years ago my marching band made it to state competition. Wouldn't you know it, Mr. Weeks' band (he'd switched schools) made it as well. A group of students and I went up to him to talk and I remembered a joke someone said about Clements (my school) trying for so long to make it to state. The words that came out of my mouth were "Try, try again and I guess you'll finally make it, eh?" When we'd walked away my friends started laughing at me, because everyone besides me heard what I'd said as a very clever insult. For some reason, this made me guilty. So guilty that for the rest of that day I had my head in between my knees with a sick feeling in my stomach, begging the girl I had a crush on at the time to forgive me and tell me I'm not an evil person. For the next few weeks I couldn't sleep or think straight, because I was never able to apologize for what I did, and hopefully be forgiven. I've never seen Mr. Weeks again. Still when I think about it I feel ashamed and guilty. To this day I suffer the same feelings if I know I've done something wrong and can't apologize and be forgiven. This is the power that people I care about have over me. Because as much as I thought Mr. Weeks made my life miserable, I finally realized much later that he taught me a lot about music, which means so very much to me. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 10th, 2003
1:47 pm	*does a little dance* So I go to see the profs. First off, Peterson is about an hour behind on his schedule, so I end up telling the secretary that I have another appointment, and I will return when I finish with that one. So I go see Tyler. First off, I hide behind a corner so that Flemming won't tell me that he can help me and require me to tell him no. So, I talk with Tyler, and he says two things that make me very happy. "You are in excellent academic standing" and "You have plenty of grade points". He also helps me fill out my schedule, and tells me that I'm virtually upper level with a good chance of a succesfull major change to what I want! When I go back to the first meeting my grade gets changed from a D to a B! WHOOP! This semester is going to ROCK! Trip (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 9th, 2003
11:13 am	Justified Fears So two of the profs weren't there, but the last one was there to tell me quite kindly that I got a 132 out of 200 on the exam I thought I did very well on. On top of that, there was a problem that I flat out MISSED - like didn't even do any work on. That's VERY odd, considering I turned in the exam early. So nothing I can do. I can go to my engineering advisor and tell him that I'll be repeating that course and getting an 'A'. That the reason I started doing so poorly was because he and his stupid upper level required me to take 3 maths at the same time and I had a mental breakdown on one of the math exams - THAT'S why I got a D. Of course, I'd be reeling out excuses left and right, but that's what I have to do to get anywhere in this University. *sigh* I just want to program... why do I have to do this... Trip (Comment on this)
10:05 am	Fear You know, as I wake up this morning and realize what I have to do it comes to me that I am scared to DEATH of what I have to do. I don't want to go talk to these professors... Maybe I'm just scared of failing. Who knows. But this is what I have to do. Wish me luck. Luck and a shotgun - those always help in these horror game things :-) Trip (Comment on this)